Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize