my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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