I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize