I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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