okay pat passed out under dana's car
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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