Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize