Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize