It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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