I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have already put on my inside pants.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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