i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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