i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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