Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize