He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wish they made helmets for livers.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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