found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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