The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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