I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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