Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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