How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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