i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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