i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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