Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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