She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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