Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
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