I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You ate ashes out of my bong
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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