K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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