wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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