Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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