giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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