Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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