A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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