i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
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you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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