these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize