You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize