Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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