And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize