I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize