Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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