sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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