He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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