I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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