so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
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thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
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Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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