One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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