I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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