Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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