If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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