Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize