Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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