Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
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