The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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