So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize